How I truly feel.

I put on a smile infront of my friends and family, but truly im frowning on the inside. I dont know it's just like i dont want to show how I feel to people because I don't want them thinking im any different then anyone else, and when im alone it's like my true emmotions come out and I just go crazy. It's not like cutting myself or holding a gun to my head it's just like I start punching myself in the face, screaming until I cant breath, crying, and just going absolutly crazy. I just feel like im on fire most of the time just because of so much anger and hate built up inside. I don't even know what to do anymore.